REVIEW: The List of Things that Will Not Change by Rebecca Stead

[I received an electronic review copy of this book from Netgalley and Random House/Wendy Lamb Books in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.]

Summary


When Bea was 8, her parents sat her down to tell her that her dad was gay and they were getting a divorce. At the same time, they gave her a notebook. Inside they had made a list – The List of Things that Will Not Change. It included affirmations of love from both of her parents as well as a reminder that they were still a family, even if the family looked different in the future.

Now that Bea’s dad and Jesse are getting married, Bea is thrilled with the idea that she is going to finally have a sister. Jesse’s daughter, Sonia, is Bea’s age. She lives in California, but after Christmas she’ll be visiting New York for a week. Bea is certain they’ll become the best of friends and that Sonia will be as happy as she is.

But as the wedding gets closer, Bea discovers that different people, and different families, can have complicated feelings about big changes. And she discovers she has some complicated feelings herself.

Review


This was delightful! I adored Bea from the very beginning. She is creative and insightful and completely realistic for her age. The entire cast of characters is fantastic. No one is perfect or perfectly happy. There are complex situations and complex feelings. But the adults are committed to Bea and Sonia and to supporting one another. And Bea’s friends are a great support for her.

My favorite relationship in the whole book is Bea’s relationship with her therapist. It’s matter-of-fact and never something for her to be self-conscious about. Bea is honest about places where she holds back. She listens to what Miriam says, even if she isn’t sure Miriam is right. The whole thing is SO well done.

Because the relationship between Bea and Miriam is so strong, there are a ton of great pieces here about feelings and emotions – anger, emotions that can be masked by anger, acting on our feelings, dealing with worries, and imagining the feelings of others. I loved all of it!

The relationship between Bea’s dad and his boyfriend is great. Each has his own “voice” and way of relating to Bea that feels realistic. I especially loved Jesse’s relationship with Bea.

Not everyone in the book is on board with the gay relationship, which adds to some of the conflict in the book. It’s painful to watch, but also honest . And the book gives Bea space to process that.

There are SO MANY rich things that could be done with this book in a classroom setting – read-alouds with discussion, book groups, etc. But I think kids will also love just spending time with Bea and her friends and family, soaking up all the goodness here. Fans of Rebecca Stead should not miss this one!

Rating: ♥♥♥♥½